Whatever It Is, You’re Doing It Wrong

I’m fired up this morning. Fired up enough to write a blog post after a very long lapse.

I just finished watching a video that’s suppose to be inspiring to women. She has a whole speech about how bikini’s were invented to be scandalous and that modesty is the sexiest. You know what? I see your point of view and agree bikini’s may be a little overrated. Coming from an aspiring bikini competitor that says a lot. But in this speech she talks about studies done that show men looking at us in these bikini’s turns off their human like brain and turns them into robots like they are looking at “objects”. Which of course is spun into us being objects when we wear bikinis.

Well I grew up with the mindest of the classic “A lion doesn’t loose sleep over the opinion of sheep”. I don’t give a fuck what a random man thinks of me. Object, goddess, donkey, whatever. I care what I think of me. Well okay, maybe my husband and children too. But they know who I really am inside, not based off what I’m wearing on the outside. And another point? I can’t change you/your thoughts, I can only change me/mine.

Which is where I’m getting really fired up. All these damn blog posts and speeches and so on that are being passed around social media. Oh so inspiring, but still telling you how to parent, look, cook, clean, be spiritual and so on. I realize this post may be doing the same thing, but my point here really is to set you free from these “make you feel warm and fuzzy and shitty and the same time” blog posts.

Yes I read the one with the women who stopped telling her kid to hurry up. It melted and broke my heart. I related and felt bad a swore off saying “hurry” at my kids forever. Then sure enough, the next time I was in a  rush to meet someone, get to a birthday party, make class etc  I felt even more ashamed of myself. Then people writing articles about parents saying “hurry” motivated them and they turned out fine.

Or the numerous ones about not cleaning my house and spending time with my kids makes me a better parent. I, ME, MYSELF enjoys a clean home! And guess what? I still spend time with my kids. Yes, one less hour a day, but I also need my own sanity.

Oh the blog posts about not fat shaming and love your body? Then the ones about needing to care for yourself and your health is what makes you live to see your great great great great grandkids?

Eat clean and live forever. Have cheats and enjoy live, YOLO.

Have happy dirty kids. Grow and foster well organized clean kids for success in life.

Don’t wear a bikini and be proud of your modesty. Work hard and rock whatever the fuck you want, two or one piece or mumu.

Tell your husband you love him every day. Don’t say I love you too much or the meaning is pointless.

COME ON!!!!!! Every where we turn, we are doing it wrong. So I say fuck it. I’m not reading them anymore. I will be the person to decide how I parent (or don’t), how I treat my body, what I wear (or don’t), what’s good for my relationship, what to do for a living. Your point is part of the herd I care not to listen to it.

different

happy

Bitchin Bod update

Well HELLO!!!

Life has been busy. Who’s isn’t? So I haven’t been able to blog much about my progress. Because I’ve been to busy kicking ass and taking names!

I reached my weightloss goal and even an extra pound. That’s 20 lbs off my pre baby weight. I did a lot of running, HIIT running in particular and some weights.

I tried to follow most of my personal commandments, but there was certainly weeks in there that I wasn’t working out 5 days a week or eating completely clean.

The last few weeks before reaching my goal I actually got a gym membership. I reached a bit of a plateau and needed a change up. Plus I was starting to fall in my workouts more and more. This was I started going 5/6 days a week again and they have childcare so I could focus an entire hour on my workout. Within a week or two I reached my goal.

Amazing feeling that is. Set a goal and achieve it. Damn it feels good. I’m getting motivated all over again just writing about it and feeling it again.

Anyways. A month ago actually I reached my goal. Then I made new goals. Are you ready? I want to become a bikini competitor. Even if it’s just once and I dont even win. As I said to my ever supportive husband, “It’s on my radar as a bucket list item now, there is no stopping me.” So my goal is to do it for my 30th birthday. Which is in about 18 months. I realize I could probably do sooner, but a few things hold my timeline out.

First and most importantly to me; breastfeeding. I am still breastfeeding and will for probably another 6 months. I’m afraid if I get my body fat that low I will loose my milk. Plus there are things such as pre workouts and things that I can not take wile breastfeeding. I will not give up that. I love it and it’s best for my baby.

Additionally, I have diastasis recti. (split abdominals). So the road to putting them back together again and then building a hot flat muscled stomach on top of it will be long.

Other then those two things, obstacles are simply check ins to remind myself how bad I want it. Or as the recently deceased Nelson Mandela said “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” I’m scared. No doubt about the fact that I’m scared I will stop, fail, loose focus or otherwise. But thats what makes it so amazing right?

When I started running, I thought a 5km run was a great task. I never imagined I would be a long distance runner. The very next year I completed my first half marathon while a very nauseous 8 weeks pregnant. I was slow, but I didn’t care. I finished that shit.

So after reaching my goal I decided to start trying working out differently. Why not do some experimenting and see how it changes my body. I did a month of barely any cardio and lots of heavy weights. It felt/feels amazing to lift heavy weights. So empowering.

After a month my results are as follows: My arm, thigh, waist and chest measurements are pretty much the same. MY weight is also the same. My butt gre by 1/2 inch. This is good. I was working on growing it. I want a booty!!!! (My husband hates that word but it’s my blog so muah ha ha ha ha) and my tummy below my waist, where my DR is grew almost an inch!!!!!!

So yeah thats not going to work. I have now gone onto my Mutu System. This lady from the UK is apparently the leading expert in DR. My problem being that its so slow and I dont feel like its working out at all. But I will try everything. I love my body. I really do. The only part that gets me is my tummy where my DR is. That small part kills me!!!!

I havent worked out in a couple weeks because of slacking in Cuba and then serious illness in the house since we’ve gotten back pretty much. Now everyone seems to be getting on the mend I will get back on it. Maybe do low weight, high rep mixed with my Mutu stuff.

Hope to update sooner then this last time!!!

I still would LOVE to hear what everyone else is doing!!!! Let’s motivate each other!!!!!

Oh and PS, if you want to see progress pictures follow me on Instagram @Bitchinhousewife

What Is Success?

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost
I start with this poem, because this is where I feel today. I’m at a crossroads. Today I was asked to be a partner in taking over a successful business. I know it would be financially beneficial. Not extremely, but I wouldn’t take a loss. My former non mom self would be elated. I love being a successful independent woman.
My  mother of two daughters current me struggles with the idea of what success really is. I of course still love the idea of being a successful business owner, well connected etc etc. But I weigh in on my success as a mother. What is more important to me? I know so many read this and think “You can have both!” Can I? I already run a business and do hair from home for friends and family. I already feel drowned in a never ending to do list and feel like it affects my parenting.
From one side I wish I could do nothing but raise my children. I don’t need to make the money from the work I do. We aren’t rich but we are comfortable with just my husbands income. I want to do crafts everyday, teach them lessons, run through yellow wheat fields, sing as I bathe them, dance as I cook and every other lovely vision of what motherhood is. All day, every day.
I can not be that mother. All the power to all that can, you are my heros. I NEED something for me, that doesn’t revolve around my children.
But to what point? When are you too focused on business and when are you too focused on your kids and loose yourself? Why is it so hard to see the line? *cue stupid Blurred Lines song* I don’t want to look back in 10 years and think “crap I wish I did something more for me. I wish I took a  course or ran that business and never lost myself”. I also NEVER want to look back and say “I wish I could have spent more time with my children. I wish I never missed part of them growing up.”
I called my sister and my mother. My sister (who has no kids and feels at utter happiness with life as she is getting married and received a recent raise and promotion at work) says “Lots of mothers also run successful businesses”. My Mother (mother of 4 and always dreamed of being a stay at home mom) said “You don’t have to be what everyone expects of you. You don’t have to be perfect at everything. What would you regret more?” Missing my children grow up. Without doubt.
If I loose myself I will have a big old Under The Tuscan Sun moment later in life and get a new one.  I can never get new childhoods for my children. Decision made. As I write that. I will continue as I am with the business I have, but I wont kill myself to do more, be more or be that kind of successful. I actually love making silly scenes from food for my daughter. I’d rather spend 5 minutes making a mess doing that then telling her “hold on, here eat this sandwich, while I answer this email”. I realize some days will be butterfly sandwiches and some will be emails and I’m okay with that. Just not everyday of either.
THAT is success.

PMS Smoothie

So maybe I’m getting a littler personal here, but what the heck. Last night I went to bed crying after watching a movie that was barely sad and this morning woke with pain in my stomach.  This being after not being able to control myself around junk food all day yesterday, when I’ve gotten pretty good at resisting it. Well we all know how that goes.

I didn’t want to just reach for tylenol and take that all day everyday for the next couple. I try to cure as much as I can with food now. It really is the most under utilized medicine I believe.  So based of my knowledge purely from nutrition, holistic nutrition etc books I’ve read (I am NOT a certified nutritionist. YET!) I made this smoothie to help.

leaftea

The base is Raspberry Leaf Tea that’s been brewed and chilled. Some moms might know this from being pregnant to try and induce labor. It has antispasmodic properties (supresses muscle spasm) that helps with cramping.

The flaxseed has essential fatty acid that also helps relieves symptoms and aid in proper grandular function (hormome balance).

The kiwi and spinach are high in calcium for backache, cramping and nervousness. The higher magnesium contents in these foods, also helps you absorb the calcium.  Banana’s potassium and B6 help with water retention, not to mention have the right sweetness to kill the sugar craving.

PMS smoothie

 

Recipe:

  • 1 Cup of cooled Raspberry Leaf Tea (less or more depending on how thick you like your smoothies)
  • 1 tablespoon flaxseeds
  • 2 kiwis peeled
  • 1 cup frozen mango
  • half a banana
  • 1 cup spinach
  • handful of ice cubes

Blend smooth and enjoy!

Best Ever Pasta Sauce

I had a nostalgic morning this morning. The babe was playing on the floor, singing away, the toddler dancing to a movies music, laundry everywhere, fog in the air crockpot out and pasta sauce cooking on the stove. Like being a housewife of times past. Actually made me think of my mother. She always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Cook, bake, sew and care for her four children. I feel lucky. Lucky that I get to experience this. That I kind of sort of get to live in my moms dream.

Anyways…… on to my newest adventure of domestication. Homemade pasta sauce. I don’t think I can buy jarred stuff again. This tasted so fresh and yummy. I got a recipe from Pinterest and it sent me to this lovely blog’s recipe.  I shall be watching for more of her stuff I think. I basically followed her ingredients but I never completely follow a recipe to the dot, so here is what I did in modification (which isnt too much)

SAuce

Ingredients:

  • 1 large yellow onion. Chopped roughly or in one of those cool pull string choppers from Tupperware and let your toddler do it. (Seriously her favorite thing to do in the kitchen.)
  • 2 heaping tablespoons of pre crushed garlic (like from the GIANT jar you get at Costco)
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil
  • 1 big can of italian tomatoes
  • 1 can of tomato paste
  • 2-3 cups of vegetable stock (yay veggie friendly!)
  • 1 bay leaf
  • salt, pepper, Italian seasoning and sage

Preparations:

  1. Soften the onions in the garlic and coconut oil inside the pot.
  2. Add the tomatoes, tomato paste, bay leaf and salt and pepper. Let simmer. Her recipes says 2 hours, I did 1.5 hours, with adding more stock at like 45 minutes. (hence the odd ingredient amount) It was seeming very thick already so I added more and pulled it off earlier then her recipe.
  3. Add the seasonings to your taste. I was tempted to add chili powder but figured I would try a traditional version first.

I ate a bowl of whole grain spaghetti with some sauteed red kidney beans and spinach with this sauce for lunch. So delicious. And toddler approved. AND vegan/vegetarian.

Once relatively cooled I put the leftovers in freezer bags for future use. Next time I will make 2 or 3 times as much for larger batches that will last a long time.

sauce2

 

 

Being Mom Is Hard

To be honest, things are/have been hard. I’ve had a rough time with the littlest one and her colic and it seems as if it isn’t completely gone yet. Some days I wonder if it’s just me. Is it just me that struggles with my children? Am I not as good at this as I thought I would be? Balancing the two is something I just can’t seem to get a hold of. One will need me and I get her settled and then the other needs me, I get her settled and turn around the other is at it again. Or in most cases, they both need me at the same exact time.

I feel like I can just never catch up. I can’t catch up on spending quality time together or separately with them, housework, work-work, blogging, socially, and so on. For me this is difficult. Anyone who knows me personally, knows I am a bit of a control freak. Not being able to control at least 50% of my day makes me crazy. Currently I control approximately 10%.

Now I’m not a religious person by any means, but I believe there is something/someone out there maintaining a balance to this earth and for each one of us. So I believe you are given the children that you need to have. I think about this a lot. I have children that are wild and unwilling to follow my chosen way of going about the day. This “something/someone” is trying to make me learn to relax and let things go. I’m being taught the lessen of slow down and enjoy the moment itself more, aren’t I?

I recently read this post. I love how she goes explains that you need to be uncomfortable in order to feel the comfort basically. When you are low, remember it and appreciate it so you can feel the high the same way. When  I workout I say to myself a lot “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you”. I just realized I need to apply this to my everyday life. My girls challenge me on a hourly basis it seems. But they are changing me. Changing me to be a better person and better mom.

So today I honor my low feelings and will choose to use them for positive changes. Easier said then done I know, but the hard things to do in life are the ones that make the biggest impact and last the longest.

With that thought my girls are starting to wake up and I need to go make today a good day for them.

With Love,

Jen

Week One Of Bitchin’ Bod

It’s been actually 4 weeks since I started working out again. But a week ago I made some commitments to myself in The Beginning Of A New Me post. And really started paying attention.

My four commandments to myself:
1. Eat clean
2. Workout 5 days a week
3. Go easy on myself when I make a mistake
4. Health before vanity

Id’ say I had a pretty good week overall. The first week is always the easiest right? Or is it the hardest? Interesting debate. Either way it wasn’t bad.

I ate pretty cleanly. Some chips and half a cookie at a BBQ and a beer after a long ass day, but I’m pretty proud of the way I ate. I have to tell you my greatest accomplishment this week. I resisted a chocolate croissant. Yeah you heard me folks. Chocolate and carbs together are my very favourite and I said no. Wasn’t even that hard either. Maybe its because I was already full from eating my healthy lunch. Either way I’m proud of myself. You know what, even eating only half a cookie is a feat too. I keep seeing this post everywhere:

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And now as I agree and am seeing food more as nourishment for my body then filling a void (hunger/pain/sadness/etc) it’s hard not to feel like rewarding yourself for a job well done. When you love these sugary/buttery/salty foods and you call them “treats”, of course you see them as a reward.

As far as working out, I’m on that shit like white on evil, devilish white rice! I really enjoy being active. On my days off I find myself thinking, “How bad can it be for you to overtrain”. But commandment number 4. Health before vanity. I shall rest by body to be at optimal health. But I did walk to the store for milk/eggs/bananas instead of driving all week.

I sent this picture to my husband this week. Its a picture of me in pre pregnancy jeans, that were kind of tight and not stretchy; so non forgiving and they went on no problems. Were even comfy. He sent the pic back to me later that day saying “I found this old picture of you on my phone. It’s of maybe when you were about 22. Yeah good man he is. :)

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Anyways. So far so good. I feel good too. Anyone out there also on the same journey? Id love to have another blog to read and maybe we can keep each other in line. Night all!