Welcome to 2016! Happy New Year! With New Years, as usual comes New Year’s resolutions. And with these also comes New Year’s resolutions posts. Fitness and health blogs all around the world writing endlessly with tips and tricks you should do to help you achieve your goals this year. My post is a bit different.
I recently had a friend speak to me about helping change a friend. She has concerns for her health and well-being. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Knowing that many of the emotional and mental well-being has to do with the physical. Health, not just body image. I’ve had many friends ask me for advice on nutrition, exercise, weight loss, stress, etc, and to be honest I tell them what I think they “should” do.
During my yoga teacher training, my teachers said something that really stuck with me. “Stop shoulding all over people”. Funny? Yes. True? Even more yes.
I’ve spent hours giving advice to friends, solicited or not (guilty), about diet and exercise. And after thinking on my own experiences and to be a little bit of a hypocrite the advice I gave my friend for her friend was this:
You can’t force her to change her life. It has to be on her own accord. She has to seek it out. She has been given advice and suggestions and they’ve never stuck. My guess; likely because she didn’t feel it to be her own solution, or supported the way she needs. She needs to Find Her Own Village.
Next time she complains of her weight or health issues, maybe we need to stop “shoulding” on our friends and family and start asking them how we can help. What would you like to change? How can I help you make that change? How can I support you in your journey?
I believe we hear/see everything we “should” or should not do. We know we SHOULDN’T eat junk food. We know we SHOULD exercise. We know we SHOULD eat leafy greens. We know this already.
Listen to our friends and family when they start wanting change. Listen to ourselves when we wish to change. How can you help yourself? How can you find the support you seek? Maybe that’s really what we crave. Or what really makes the difference?
I wish you love, happiness, peace and laughter in the New Year.