Fitness Takes A Village

We often say this when talking about raising children. And that is very true. I will not contest that in the slightest. What I don't think that gets spoken about often is that its needed in our health and fitness lifestyle too. 

In our day to to day lives, how many times are we exposed to offerings that are not in our diet or meal plans? Daily, hourly, every minute (thanks Instagram and Facebook and your damn food accounts pfft). Oh sure we can argue it takes willpower. Sure it does. That's not the whole bit of it though. 

Starting a journey into fitness can be exciting. Being honest though, like most new things, the novelty wears off a bit. You have to find that sort of love for it. Read my Love Your Fitness post talking all about that subject. But one thing that can keep you motivated is finding your "village". 

Thinking back on to the hot new fitness regimes out there all the time. A big part of it seems to be the people. Crossfit being the best example of this I think. They compete with each other but in a supportive way. They all do the same daily workout. They are a village in it together. The Zumba phenomenon years ago. A village, dressing in bright colors expressing themselves through their creative dance. Yogi's looking to each other for support and guidance and assistance. Body builders coaching and spotting and competing together. From what I've seen most successfully winning in groups. Families. Villages. 

Taking that outside of the gym, zumba room or barre class, you need your village in support of your friends and family. And that's the more difficult one. You may want to change your ways but your husband or friends don't. You want to stop the Saturday nights binge drinkfests, ball team cookout that could feed an army or just fast food picked up daily by the family. So many motivational and inspirational messages tell us we can't change others, only ourselves. It is a matter of willpower and strength. Half right. Half wrong. We can not change them, but we do not just have to grin and bear it. Seek a village. Seek those with goals like yourself. Connect with those that inspire you, lift you up and support you. 

Something I found profoundly powerful? Asking to be supportive. I tell my husband, "Hey I need to really stop with the wine and candy for a bit. I'm not feeling so hot these days." Now my husband is amazing and he says "okay, I'll be as supportive as I can". Because you know, he's one of those jerks that can eat like crazy and loose weight. *Love you babe* But even if he didn't say that, now he knows my intention. My reason for not having a beer on the deck with him, but a water, or a salad instead of ordering pizza. 

Put your intention out into the world. Really the scariest thing that can happen is you get what you ask for. And hey who knows, maybe you are the one that inspires those around you!


Take care and you are ALWAYS, ALWAYS welcome to share with me here and we can be our own village. 




Life Isn't About A Flat Stomach

Most may know that I am preparing for a bikini competition. I am 5 days away from stepping on stage in front of a lot of people, amongst a lot of other women in some tiny pieces of cloth. I get asked a lot lately; why? Why do I want to compete. I want to write a blog post about why after my competition, but some of it is explained here.

This morning I went for my very first consult for breast augmentation. (A boob job). I’ve had two babies that I breastfed for over a year each, significant weight loss and I’m fastly approaching 30. My girls are not the same as they once were. This is for me, has nothing to do with competing, society’s view of me or so on. It is for me and how I feel in my body.

Anyways, I went for my consult. I waited 4 months for this appointment, after being waitlisted basically. While there I asked about a small amount of skin above my c section scar that I’m not even sure I wanted to have surgery on. It bothers me, maybe not enough to consider surgery. I’m very proud that my body grew and nourished two babies. And even though my births weren’t the way I wanted, proud that I was able to have them surgically and walk away from it. Take care of my babies while healing from surgery. “Scars are only reminders that something tried to hurt us and we didn’t let it.” I had my babies, even though they may have been too big for my body and I’m still here. Take that mother fucker.

The doctor was a jerk and told me I needed a tummy tuck and reconstruction of my stomach muscles. The skin was only a small part of it. The reconstruction would allow my stomach to be right flat, even after eating a full meal. What. The. Fuck. Look at these pictures.




I think I look pretty damn good. Not to be egocentric or anything but again, self pride for my hard work. It's also not super flat. I even told the fucker I was stepping on stage in 5 days. Now don’t think this really rocked my confidence about doing this competition. I’m stronger then that to allow an external force (especially a person I don’t know) take my pride, self love and confidence away from me. Instead I was upset for two reasons. The way he treated me was atrocious.

The second, life isn’t about a flat stomach. Do we really need to have flat stomachs after eating? Aren’t our stomachs designed to expand for reasons? It’s people like this that are distorting the view of the world and creating the idea in people’s minds that we have to be this tiny tiny little thing. I knew competing, this tiny body isn’t something sustainable. I honestly don’t believe in 6 pack abs or a super flat stomach being something that’s maintainable year round. Whether it be for your physical or mental health. Mostly because a lot of people have an unhealthy relationship with food and/or exercise in order to maintain it. Or unhealthy relationship with their bodies in order to maintain it. It’s kind of disturbing.

I am very confident in my body. Of course I have days where I think I can’t do this. Or my body isn’t as good as the girl on Instagram I will compete with or I could be leaner, tighter etc. But I also know how hard I’ve worked, how good I look and I will be on that stage even if I’m a whale compared to the next girl. It’s my journey and I will do with as I please.

That said, imagine the other mother walking into that office. Not as confident. Walking in there because she doesn’t feel that way and is looking for something to make her feel better. She goes for boobs, asks about a small amount of skin and is basically told she’s a wreck and needs an overhaul of her midsection. Told if she does this she can eat a meal and not worry about her stomach showing. WHY?!?!?! Why is a flat stomach so damn important? Why are we chasing this? If the majority of us don’t look like this, why do we let the select few tell us we should? If you are a healthy weight for your body, are not sick, eat relatively well within reason, have a healthy relationship with food or our bodies why do we always need to loose 10 lbs or obtain the flat stomach?

I will get more into why I wanted to compete in another post, but it wasn’t about the abs or flat stomach. Cool side effect maybe, but I know they will go away after show time. I will bring calories back up to give me energy to sustain my busy life. To fuel my workouts properly. I will eat more carbs, enjoy the glass of wine with my friends, pie for Thanksgiving and they will fade away. If they stay for a while, then cool too. Maybe I’m talking out of my ass, but I think life isn’t about a flat stomach.